Yard work is for hooligans

Let’s go over, once again, why yard work is not a good idea. Ever.

This is James Green.

He lives in Maine which is probably very leafy. While doing yard work with something called a backpack leaf blower (no idea what this is, don’t care), he put his cell phone in his back pocket.

While James was making his yard leaf-free, his phone started calling 911. Repeatedly.  Butt dialing. So unbeknownst to him, James butt dialed 911, over and over again, eventually drawing the attention of the police. 

From the Bangor Daily News:  The police showed up and promptly arrested him on outstanding warrants.

Bottom line:

     +      =


Clearly, only CRIMINALS do yard work.  I know you agree with me.

74 is the new beefcake

I’ve spent all Memorial Day Weekend stuffing myself with food. Pizza, chips and salsa, margarita’s. Big fun, of course, but now that I’ve gained 80 pounds in two days, well, not so fun.

Enter this woman.  Ernestine Shepherd.  She eats raw eggs or some such silliness, works out for hours (days even) at the gym and is 74 years old.

It’s fantastic, utterly and completely.  It (almost) makes me want to run to the gym, especially when you learn that she didn’t work out until she was in her 50’s.

I’m both inspired and annoyed by her. 

Feel schlumpy.

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